Whoever Welcomes a Little Child...

...like this in My name welcomes Me" Matthew 18:5.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world" James 1:27.

Every adventure needs a theme, right? God has me scrambling with many--and I asked for it.

In March, myself and another 7 individuals from my church will take a two-week trip to Brazil. Our mission: to spread the great, glorious and wonderful good news of salvation through Jesus Christ and encourage the missionaries already at work.

An adventure to say the least.

The other more notable journey the Lord has had me and my husband on the past few years is adoption. Door after door has slammed closed, practically breaking our spiritual noses in the process. Disappointment and almost complete surrender have loomed in the foreground. Last summer, I succumbed to such discouragement my motto became: Abandon plans to God, but not hope. Is that possible?

Typical Sunday school answers came to my mind when I began to question whether I'd misunderstood God in leading our hearts to adopt, "His timing is never late, seldom early and always on time;" "You can't rush God, He's got that special child for you...;" "Trust in the Lord...;" "Those who wait upon the Lord will be strengthened;" etc.

My husband seemed to waver in and out of full-fledged commitment. Admittedly, this marks the first time (other our marriage, I suppose) that I've put consorted effort and perseverance into keeping an idea alive. The good Lord, in His infinite, omiscient wisdom enabled me through His Spirit to keep on keepin' on. Through crooked agencies, closed programs, enormous amounts of money and unaccounted for fear (Satan)--God is.

Last Friday, after a passionate session with a friend on how ready I was to adopt and also how ready I was then to wait on the Lord, He moved. And when God decides to move, nothing on this earth can stop Him. We can either ride the wave or stay on shore. Me? The shore is sadly often my home. In this case only one option remained. Maybe the heat of the sand had burned my spiritual feet, or the vultures were circling above. I don't know. What I did know was, I wanted to surf, to ride the proverbial waves of His great and glorious love. Would I drown? Maybe. Would I have to do something I feared? Probably. Would I be made of fool of? Most certainly. Was I ready? No, but He is and He is with me.

Names have been changed to protect the unaware.

After a children's phys ed class, I overheard another mother speaking with my friend (who had adoped from Ethiopia Dec 2009) about her goal to adopt. Call me nosy or an eavesdrop, I'm fully convinced it's an internal radar for a mother who desires to adopt to pick up on any/all words that have to do with adoption. Anyway, we walked out at the same time and I inquired about her adoption experience. Betty, a friendly gal, opened right up and joyfully shared the adoption agency information (Passionate Corazons) with me topping the conversation off with, "And the lady, Cathy, is super sweet..." Good enough for me. As soon as I got home I called.

Passionate Corazons' target country, at the time of my talk with Betty, was Democratic Republic of the Congo--one of the most dangerous countries in the world. Cathy, who turned out to be just as sweet and knowledgeable as Betty described, informed me their program is not accepting anymore applications. They were a small agency and the Congo was their biggest, well, only adoption country. I thanked her and found myself curiously not disappointed or ready to throw in the towel. Instead, I remained hopeful as I parted and told her I'd be in touch.

"What are you looking for exactly?" Cathy asked just before hit the red button to end call. I explained that we weren't picky on country, but we did prefer an infant girl. Like a revelation which rolls slowly off the prophet's tongue, she explained a trifecta of agencies that she works with in international adoptions. One in particular recently popped up in dire need. Apparently, they had a thriving Ethiopian adoption program and gradually quit promoting and marketing. Pretty soon, they had no new families. Next thing the director knew, he had many small children in his orphange with no potential homes.

"Really?" Could this actually be happening? I mean, how long has it been? I was getting good at waiting...

Rapid palpitations of my vital organs ensued, like a knob had been turned from autopilot to overdrive. For me, tears fall quickly and I before Cathy had finished I began to blubber quietly over the phone. Since that initial contact, less than one week ago, God has opened His endless stores of resources, love and gifts. He has ushered to our disposal money to help with the initial costs: app fee, agency fees, dossier fee. I've printed and will begin penning the needed information onto the required documents. Dotting every "i" and crossing every "t."

Again, is this really happening? After two miscarriages, a heart that burns furnace-like for orphans, is God actually going to bring this about? Yes, I believe so.

We had waited, with learning patience, on the Lord. And then He moved. His presence lacked nothing and brought with it a housewarming of peace; His signature gift. On the flip side, it honestly frightens me!

This wonderfully terrifying experience, which has occurred in such a flurry, has been nothing short of a miracle of God's goodness and greatness. All glory to the Lord!

Enter spiritual warfare.

To be continued...

A New Course

Pride. It's been around for, well, ever. Like a slimy serpent, which slithers into our lives as quietly as an anaconda glides through the murky Amazon water toward its prey, so the sin of pride, which brought about the fall of Satan and so many after him (all to his doing) is cause for much difficulty in our lives.

The Pharisees were accused by Jesus of being white-washed tombs--proper, pretty and clean on the outside, but only bones, cobwebs and death--on the inside.

Pride.

Satan specifically tempted Christ to edge to the crevice of selfish sinful pride by offering the Lord rule over the all the kingdoms of the earth, daring him to toss his fleshly body from the precipice, and enticing him to turn rocks into bread. In all three instances Jesus failed not to put the devil in his place--by quoting the infallible word of God. Notice, even the devil, who believes in God and shudders, did not--COULD not--dispute Christ when he directly quoted the Bible. What power it contains. Power of which we have no clue. The likes of which we cannot fathom or comprehend, yet...it is all at our fingertips.

Pride.

The journey of adoption in my life has brought itself to a sad state. Pride led me to spout to my friends and family that we will adopt--I just knew we would--afterall God had laid it on my heart, my husband had changed his thoughts to a more positive perspective (through prayer), and lost two babies by 12 week miscarriage all because of the fall. My pride, or was it faith, led me to pray, "Lord, if we are meant to adopt and not give birth, please don't allow me to conceive." Do not put the Lord God to the test. He did allow it, but both times, the babe was lost. My selfishness kept on trying. I lacked sufficient faith to not try in the first place. Or was it pride? The fall? Just the way it is?

Now we play monthly russian roulette. We quit using contraceptives because, by all accounts, I have not been able to conceive. God has closed my womb. Like Sarah, Rachel, and so many other women of Bible history--I am barren.

But not barren in spirit.

God has assured me that, yes, I do and have made mistakes. Sure, some of those may have led to certain things occurring, but He is mine and I am His--forever and ever, Amen. My spirit is overwhelmed at what is to come. His presence is few and far, but when we come together the sparks fly and I am filled with His love and spirit. Until those moments arrive, I am left to trust--my faith grows like the roots of a plant in a sparse land reaches deep for life-giving water, so my spirit has found His grace sufficient.

Pride.
Sin.
Humility.
Forgiveness.

Thanks to Jesus, I have all four. If I had not the first two, I would not need the final two. With the full acknowledgement of my mistakes, my shortcomings, my sins, I lay prostrate before the cross, thankful for all He is and all that He has given. Nothing, is what I am, without the death and resurrection of my Savior, Jesus, who gave all because of love.

I will adopt. I have adopted. I am adopted. I choose to trust that my heart for those who have no one is not in vain, not by accident. "Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening." I look forward to where God will lead me (and my husband, for I am one with him) in this multi-faceted word: adoption

Thank you, Lord. Amen.