“Big trips often change us for life.”
Such was the wisdom I imparted on a young friend of mine. Her age rings in at around nineteen—I’m in my thirties. I taught her in Bible study while she attended high school. We clicked and began to hang out and share. She confessed I was a mentor of hers and I cried. Now she is older, wiser. Life has confused her and taken her by the hand to a valley unknown. She is no longer a child and I try to find a safe place to befriend her. No longer is she the wee one I instructed and watched grow. She is now a woman. One after the Lord’s heart. I respect her and admire her tenacity. She is my equal. I must treat her as such…over frozen yogurt at Red Mango.
I ruminate over my sage-like quote departed in haste over email. What a load, I think. She’ll think I’m a crazy loon. What teenager would want to hang out and listen to the ‘wise advice’ of a goof like myself? Yet, truth peeks from the cracks, a child chancing a glance of St. Nick on the eve of Christmas day. Has not some of my most inspiring moments come from times of complete abandonment and reliance upon my Lord? And have not those times most often pop out to play during overseas trips to distant lands. Visits to cultures so unlike my stiff, white upbringing. Foreign places with people the likes of which I have never met before that time.
Yes. These tend to be the fertile ground the good Lord plants my soul.
What is it, then, that makes these locations and excursions so life altering? It is not the exotic beauty that captivates my heart and brings my knees to the floor before His throne…not entirely. It is not the people who hate me enough to kill me and others who love me enough to die in my place who usher me into His presence…not solely.
No. For me, the moments of my truest awakening have occurred when I am forced to bend my will to His. When I say “yes” to the mission board who have prayed to send a team to Brazil. When I say “good-bye” to my husband and children for the duration of my departure. When I meet those on the team and recognize not one face and droop heavy under the weight of loneliness. It is when I am utterly lost, broken and being carried in the arms of Christ that I forget my testimony and simply utter His name as my saving grace. Yes, for me the naked truth to my learning curve is subtle and humble; my greatest moments with Christ are when I am away from ME. The times when the Lord tears myself away from the norms, the comforts, the little world I have created. Sure, I may have done so with the good intentions, to be a God-fearing wife and mother, only that is not the real ME.
ME longs for adventure.
ME desires to run full speed towards my Lord.
ME hopes to one day shed these earthly burdens and give my life solely to Him.
ME prays I teach those around me to do better than I am.
And the only thing which stands in the way of accomplishing these goals and many more is: ME.
Guess I know what I must do…
